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August 22, 2010
Never wrestle with a pig!
We were at a dinner party when my neighbour suddenly turned to me and in a loud and angry voice commented about something I had said earlier. I got hot under the collar but resumed with my meal as if nothing had happened. Why was I able to diffuse this potentially tense situation? Because I remembered a quote that I had read a few days earlier. Here it is:
I learned a long time ago never to wrestle with a pig.
You get dirty and the pig likes it.
- Cyrus Ching
When someone is angry and tries to pick a fight with you, that is entirely his problem and you always have the choice to join the battle or to ignore it. If you refuse to fight, the other party has no chance and the provocation trap remains empty.
Instead, if someone is aggressively insulting you, take a few deep breaths (am I repeating myself?) and then tell the other party in plain language that you are ready to discuss the topic, but that you won’t be drawn into a fight. You may want to withdraw for a while in order to cool off and determine your strategy.
Are you about to fall into a provocation trap right now? Think of the quote above and that will put a smile on your face. And you can’t fight if you smile, right?
