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August 15, 2010
Surgery without anesthesia
Someone said something that makes your blood boil and you are just about to explode. STOP! There is danger in the air.
Before you reach your explosion point, take a few deep breaths and count to 20. This will protect you from going on autopilot and from doing and saying things that are as hurtful as the title of this Minute. Uncontrolled anger feeds the flames and as a conflict escalates, the fine and invisible line between factual thinking and emotional reaction is trespassed.
People that are enflamed with rage are blind and stupid because anger loots the
intelligence and their intellect is trapped in their own self-importance.
- Pietro Aretino
Let’s face it — anger is a fact of life. Our world is filled with violence. There is a lot of hatred, aggression, war, and revenge around us and we have no choice but to learn to live with it. But that doesn’t mean that we ever have to act in anger. Easier said than done. You are furious NOW, so what can you do about it?
My answer: get physical, but only with yourself. Do a primal scream, bang your fist on the table, or do whatever it takes to release your tension. Transform the rage into an activity that can calm you down, like running, powerwalking, or whatever form of physical activity you enjoy. The goal is to find your real self again.
Second step, but only if you are no longer steamed: spell it out. Talk to the person that made you angry and tell him in clear and non-aggressive words how they made you feel. This is a critical step and their reaction will reveal a lot about the other person.
Next time you are about to EXPLODE, take a deep breath!
