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June 27, 2010
Winning at any price?
Are you in an endless fight to win a point with someone who has angered you? It may be time to ask yourself some questions, such as: “Is this really worth fighting for?” and “Haven’t I already invested too much time in this?” and “Is winning really that important to me?”
And then ask yourself the most important question of all: “Could it be that my ego is the real problem here, keeping this thing going well beyond its best before date?”
Ego has a voracious appetite.
The more you feed it, the hungrier it gets.
- Nathaniel Bronner, Jr.
When our ego gets involved, we stop seeing things clearly and make mountains out of molehills. We let fantasies of revenge play in our head, make plans to fight back, and make sure everyone knows it wasn’t our fault. But is that really who we are?
We are considerate and kind people and shouldn’t let anything destroy our positive personality. There are many other ways to react. We could write a letter to ourselves, as I wrote in an earlier email here, find a common friend to act as a mediator, discuss the issue with the person who angered us, or in most cases just walk away and move on. Does the sun still come up every morning? Do the birds still sing? Do we have family and friends who love us?
If you are in a fight right now, is it really, really worth it? If the answer is no, just let the problem vanish. It’s a liberating experience!
